Changing Your Mindset is the Key to Losing Weight!

By Personal Change Expert – Gillian Dalgliesh

This article comes in four parts and to get the full benefit of the weight loss series, you must read all three parts.

In these challenging Covid-19 times of uncertainty & fear where our routines have changed, and we’re having to adapt to the new ‘norm’, we may be finding that without our usual daily distractions or the opportunity to exercise as much as we’d like, it can be all too easy to reach for the cookie jar.  However, although there may be short-term gain, it often creates long-term guilt and this can lead to a vicious circle of self-sabotage when it comes to our food choices!  

Many people are unaware that the thoughts that we put in our mind are more important than the food we put in our mouths.  How we feel about ourselves affects the choices we make about what, why, when, how & where we eat.  It’s our inner narrative that influences success or failure in our weight management endeavours.  Below are some fabulous & important techniques to give you insight and awareness, and some useful methods that you can apply in order to achieve positive inner change.

First thing’s first, what does the word ‘diet’ mean to you?

This is an important concept … In my weight management sessions with clients, I always focus on healthy eating and try to stay away from the idea of diets.   Often the word “diet” brings to mind negative concepts:  the need for excessive discipline along with denial and deprivation.  Plus there’s the fact that diets often fail – statistics show that around 90% of people put the weight back on again, often immediately. 

Yo-Yo Dieting

It’s hard to deprive yourself of your favourite foods and way too often people give up within a very short time and gain back all the weight – often even more!  Then, in a vicious cycle, they try again only to have the same thing happen again.  This can lead to what is known as “yo-yo dieting” – An on/off syndrome of initially well-intentioned weight loss efforts repeatedly sabotaged which actually leads to weight gain!  So many of my clients tell me “if I was the weight & shape now than I was when I started to diet, I would never have started in the first place!”.

Negative Self-Programming 

When diets don’t work, they impact more than just the scales!  Gaining and losing weight affects us emotionally.  More often than not, there is an erosion of self-belief, self-worth, self-esteem, self-confidence, self-trust and so on.  However, when a person constantly feels negative thoughts about themselves and their body, they unwittingly programme themselves to fail.  The majority of my clients are similar in that they are successful in so many aspects of their lives – job/career, family, relationships etc – however, the one area that they cannot get control over is their weight.  Very often the reason for this is the neglect of the self:  They invest a great deal of thought and effort in creating stability for themselves & others in their lives, but they neglect to give themselves the time & space to acknowledge and positively act upon their own intrinsic needs.

They treat and speak to themselves differently to how they relate to anyone else in their lives – more about that later.

Slimming Clubs

Slimming clubs are a global multi-million dollar industry – but did you know that a whopping 76% of their clients are repeat business?  Some people have been attending the slimming club meetings for 20, 30, 40+ years.  They may be able to lose weight over the period that they are attending, but they put it back on again (and often more) and have to keep going back.  Why would that be?  The clubs offer all sorts of support, products, websites, information etc, but what they don’t offer is an obvious sustainable mindset change!  Why would they?  If they were to offer people a way to radically change their mindset so that they get lasting control of their weight, then they would miss out on 76% of their multi-million dollar business!  Healthy & successful weight management is not about your relationship with food so much as your relationship with yourself!

The psycho-biological effects of unhealthy eating

In these challenging times, many people are making poor food choices and reaching for comfort food.  However, although the short term gain may be satisfaction, the initial comfort feelings can be quickly followed by guilt, shame, regret, disappointment & anger.  Low energy foodstuffs like biscuits, cakes, crisps, chocolate etc move slowly through the gut, and the psycho-biological effect is that for the length of time it takes for that food to be digested, negative feelings remain in the mind.  They lower our mood and this harsh & negative self-talk is not helpful.   Furthermore, the amount of energy that the body uses to digest the slow-moving stodgy food, makes us feel mentally & physically tired.

The Inner Critic v. The Inner Coach

Many people believe that by talking harshly to oneself it will help to keep us on the straight’n’narrow.   But this self-chastisement actually has the opposite effect.  It creates an Inner Critic who masquerades as being helpful.  

For example, if someone came to you and said “Oh dear, I have been trying to eat healthily in order to lose weight and then I went and had a binge on chocolate”, would your response be:

“What again?”

“I am so disappointed in you!”

“You just can’t do it can you!”

“In for a penny, in for a pound – just have more!”

Probably not – it would be shocking, hurtful & unhelpful to your friend.  You would very likely offer soothing words of encouragement and support.  However, what is your language like to yourself if you find yourself in a similar situation?  What do you tell yourself?  Because our inner language is KEY to the choices we make in life – and not just about food choices. 

The 2 N’s – Nurture & Nourish

The language of the Inner Coach helps us to create the best version of ourselves.  It’s a language of forgiveness, acceptance, patience & understanding.  It’s absolutely essential that we start to notice the sort of language that we use towards ourselves because that is what guides our self-programming and is the difference between success and failure.  

Inner Critic – a language of guilt, anger, fear, chastisement & negativity

Inner Coach – a language of positivity, kindness, compassion & encouragement:  Nurture & Nourish to Flourish!

Our inner language is key in powerfully & sustainably changing our mindset!

What do you deserve?

Paradoxically, we sometimes don’t think we deserve to think highly of ourselves!  As a result of unconscious internal conditioning from childhood, many of us find it difficult to talk positively about ourselves.   Perhaps we were told as a child not to be boastful about our accomplishments – “Nobody wants to listen to a show-off!”  So the child understands that expressing positive statements about themselves can be a negative thing.  Unfortunately, they can often feel that positive inner talk is also unacceptable. In time, this creates a sense that heaping praise on ourselves is wrong.  It starts to feel unnatural and awkward and conditions our adult self-talk.  Even accepting a compliment from other people can feel awkward!  Here’s a quick indicator of your personal self-talk:  How easy is it for you to give yourself 3 compliments about your body?

So how can we start to re-programme ourselves?

Change Your Mind!  Change Your Body!

Gillian Dalgliesh is a Personal Change Expert, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Stress Management Consultant & Motivational Speaker.  Based in the UK, Gillian works globally, online & in person, with private clients & corporates.  For more information or to make an appointment, please visit her website www.gilliandalgliesh.com or call +44 7593 082 349.